Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dear Tula


Dear Tula Belle,
I love you so much! Tomorrow I go back to work and leave you for the first time.... for more than a couple of hours. Over the past 12 weeks I have learned so much about you. I know the way you fuss when you need to burp, the way your eyes droop a certain direction when you are sleepy, the way you wiggle into my arms and let me know when you want to be held differently, the way you scream :) when you are hungry, and the way you smile when you are just so content! I know you inside and out the way that only a mommy knows her baby and tomorrow morning I have to trust that someone else will care for you just as perfectly. It is scary but I will be brave for you. It makes me nervous but I don't want you to feel my anxiety so I will try to relax. Deep down I know it will be okay but it doesn't make it easier to leave.

I hope that someday you will be proud to have a working mommy. When I work I am more organized and I am better at managing my time. When I come home from work I try to maximize my time as a mommy and wife and I leave work at work. These are lessons that my mommy taught me and I hope they will be helpful to you someday.

I hope that someday you will find something to call a job that you love the way I really love teaching. Going to work is so much more than work. I make a difference....every day..... and I really believe that. God gave me the gift of teaching and I feel that I should use that gift. Teaching helps me to be a better mommy because I know what you will grow into someday :) I pray that you will find something that you are passionate about so that you never have to "work" a day in your life!

Tomorrow you will have a great day at Kristy's.... I am sure of it! Your big sister will be there to take care of you and watch over you- and I am certain she will be your voice when you don't have one. When I am teaching please know that I am doing it for you. I am providing for my family in the only way that I know how. And while I am with my kiddos at school I will be missing you but trusting that you are being cared for the same way my students' parents trust that I am caring for their little ones. When one of my students isn't having the best day I will love on them the way I hope you are being loved on. When I get home we will all cuddle. You, Ivy, and me will snuggle together on the couch. We will read stories and laugh. We will sing songs and Ivy can dance for us!

I am so thankful for the time I had to love you and learn the best way to be your mommy!

I love you to the moon and back,
Mommy